harbouring: (til somebody finds us)
[personal profile] harbouring
"I watched them walk down the steps, turned around in the hallway, and heard myself say, "I'm so lonely." It shook me because this sentence had become an involuntary verbal tic. I seldom realized I was saying it or perhaps didn't know that I was speaking the words out loud. I had started to experience this unbidden mantra even when I was still married, mumbling it before sleep, in the bathroom, or even at the grocery store, but it had become even more pronounced in the last year. My father had it with my mother's name. While he was sitting alone in a chair, before he dozed off, and later, in his room at the nursing home, he would utter Marit over and over. He did it sometimes when she was within hearing distance. If she answered the call, he seemed not to know that he had spoken. That is the strangeness of language: it crosses the boundaries of the body, is at once inside and outside, and it sometimes happens that we don't notice the threshold has been crossed. "
- - from 'The Sorrows of an American', Siri Hustvedt

Help a little.
Be friend and friendly, body and a boat.
I am not asking this for me but
I am asking, not singing
but sung.
In any case the garden is overgrown
and I am trying to remember
the way home from your house
and who beat who into kindness this time.

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harbouring: (Default)
this little country

May 2009

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